Take 100% Responsibility
What I experience in my physical world is a projection of my inner-most thoughts. "As within, so without.". I hold to the notion that all that is good in my life comes as a direct result of my commitment to partner with my loving God; while, all that is less than desirable in my life comes from my forgetting this same commitment.
Many 12 steppers start their meetings with some form of the serenity prayer ...
God grant me ...
The serenity to accept the people I cannot change
The courage to change the one I can
And the wisdom to know that one is me.
They sometimes continue with ...
Grant me patience with the thing that take time
Tolerance for the struggles of others that may be different from my own
Appreciation for that which I already have
And the willingness to get up and try again ... one day at a time.
The point I make is that if I take full responsibility, as much as I am able, for all the drama going on in my life, then I automatically access the empowerment and resources required to deal with the issues in a way that serves highest and best good ... not just for me but for all stakeholders. For example, if I am driving through a green traffic light and someone in cross traffic Tbones me because they ran the red light, they can be viewed as being to blame in the eyes of the law I offer that if I accept responsibility for my part of the accident then I can learn something that will help me drive safely in the future. The other part of this example is that if I am injured in this accident no amount of money will change my on-going pain/suffering. By proactively taking responsibility, I develope a "spydy sense" that warns me to alter my behaviour so as to do my part and avoid the accident altogether.
My experience has been that as I commit to taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions, I am automatically pulled to living in this present moment and that has a profoundly positive impact on my personal power.
Steps 8 – 10 of the 12 step program teach us:
- Made a list of all the persons I have injured or harmed in any way and became willing to make ammends.
- Strive to make amends except when to do so would cause injury or harm to myself or others.
- Continue to take fearless moral inventory and, when I am wrong, promptly admit it.
Please note that we are talking about taking responsibility not blame. Taking blame is emotionally abusive and focused on the past. Taking responsibility empowers me to focus on the present moment so I can make a better future. The only person that I can ever change is me. And the truly remarkable observation is that, when I change, everything and everyone around me changes as well. Hence the adage "If I don't consider myself as part of the problem, then there is no solution."
Amen
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